Recently I've been retrospecting so many things such as my life in Taichung, especially the moment with Lucas and all of my severe studies. Also, the thing of company, of affection and of enjoyment. Something like this. Perhaps I still don't know how to cope with the life at present. Few days ago, I watched the live show of The Vaccines on Youtube. They are the new age of British indie rock band. As I search the vocal of the band, Justin Young, saying that if everybody all regards themselves as beautiful one, it seems that we may live more easier and happier. I kind of agree with him but the reality shows impossibility, haha. If so, there will no more desire and fantasy perhaps. My life, now, is not beautiful. Physically and mentally. I am not satisfied with my life at present. Tracing back to the life I have makes me feel better. Everyday I still wondering why I stay here so long. Someone in particular is located in Taichung, and you are totally in a wrong place! But I try my best to soothe myself with all I can. Actually, something disappears and I know that. But it can hardly be found again. He goes his own way. Someone ought to be retired and there will be no chances that we'll meet again. Harsh moment I guess. Pretty harsh, truly. I am not fear to be alone, not at all. But I fear the loss will keep haunting me. It may empty my mind, hollow out my thoughts and wooden my senses. Don't you know that seriousness which is going to devour you up step by step and you run no way out! Pity me, for your sake. I won't beg you come back but all I lose is the feeling you always uphold. Spare me some, in your grace.
But What Could Be Proper Anyway?
It is so hard to make a decision that goes at least a proper way. And in the morning you found that even you want to do things better and efficiently, everything seems to go wild ways and you just hate things cannot even work for such a long time as if others assume that I am wasting my time in my daily life and for god's sake I did not! Personality causes again and says no more about it with such horrible and quirky explanation since the master even don't have any clue to deal with it and don't have any idea how it comes from in such timing that may possible destroy the very moment of progression at the critical moment so far while the others don't judge that and the others won't comment on that for it is natural for brewing things at the right time and meet again and nagging about the shit damn student's materials and keep giving you threat that it will be your coming soon while you still linger along and have nothing of the brew. The others start to make a br...
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